the past is the past

The past is the past. Take chances, take risks, who knows where those broken roads lead you?Love hard,love loud and no matter what never regret anything in your life because at one point it was exactly what you wanted .Forgive and forget, don't hang onto anger its a weak emotion.Just smile and walk away believing in your heart that there is something way better for you that lies ahead. What you want might make you cry and what you need might pass you by.

life goes on

I am amazed by the last three years of my life. I have had several highs and lows. One minute I had it all the next minute I was on the verge of loosing everything. We go through things in life that we thought we would never experience people we loose people and some people we aren't ready to let go but we need to let them go. My motto" If he stupid enough to walk away, let him!" I found out recently how hard it is to let go. How hard it was to just let them walk away. I played tug of war with someone who I should have just let go of the rope and let him fall flat on his butt. Now I am with someone else and they are complete opposites. guess what you want might make you cry and what you need might pass you by if you don't catch it and what you need ironically well turn out what you want it to be if you just let it.Just when you think your doomed God comes and lifts you up to a safer, higher ground. No we may not understand but it is all apart of god's perfect plan.Life goes on!

the kite runner

I have after reading this book, become so proud that I am an American woman. The one sided standard that women suffer from in the Muslim religion is so sad. I am a widow and if I was in Afghanistan and my husband died I would be unable to support my three children. I cryed at the thought of how those poor women, under the control of the Taliban, suffer just because they were born the wrong gender. They watch as their children starve and casted away to poverty. The standards of which a woman is to carry herself I find unrealistic and cruel. Although in America there are a lot of prejudices to my gender here. I can walk out of my house with my face uncovered and I can earn a living. People look at me with three kids and the fact that I am single and automatically assume that I am a Jezebel.My husband died; I had no control over what happened and god knows i wish I did. I still get the look from people time to time. I couldn't imagine what those poor women face on a daily basis. They put man on a pedal stool which I think is just crazy. The reason this world is so messed up now is because of men.Its OK for a man to go out and screw everything that walks but if a woman has three kids and goes out to have a few drinks one night then omg she is the biggest piece of crap ever made. Its okay for a man to dump his kids off on visitation weekend with his mama and go out and party but if a woman does that oh now shes a bad mother. Women suffer period here, there, everywhere. We are brought up to act like ladies and clean and cook. We are taught to take care of everything and everyone. Its like we are all co-dependent. Then when a woman stands up for herself and steps out of that box and says "Hey I am not your maid" she is called a bitch. I call it being a woman.If we have more than one sexual partner then god forbid we are ruined and soiled. A man anyhow can do whatever he wants and they will say oh a man is weaker than a woman. Whatever men are weak cause they are taught to be kings and they can do no wrong. They loose their tempers and no one says anything to him but if a woman does then shes unruly. I was really disgusted by what i read about the Taliban and the Muslim religion.They all need Jesus seriously.women and men are equal in my gods eyes and that's the way it should be we are both created in his image.

thanksgiving

I am so ready to kick back with a big plate of dressing and enjoy my family. Mom always makes dressing and the sisters get together and make a feast. This will be the third year Shawn has been dead.I used to get up and cook all that food. I miss him during this time of year. I am thankful for the family I have but I sure do miss my husband. Its hard to be cheerful when you feel like something is missing. I am thankful for who and where i am today. I am thankful for my kids and I am thankful that he walked in and out of my life.So as the years go by and the holidays come and go I will always have bittersweet memories to reflection. That I am thankful for.

God give me strength

Being a single mom is rough!I just got a call from my child's school that she has had an accident! omg! I can't win for loosing. :( My children are my life but sometimes they make my life harder. They in return make life worth living and give me the strength to carry on. The good definitely out weighs the bad. So just a minor malfunction and the rest of the day should run smoothly I am praying. God give me strength.So when I have moments of trials I just pray. Like Jesus said when the disciples were in a middle of a storm"peace be still" the storm seized and the sun ca
me out again.

Aspartame research paper

Aspartame is one of the many controversial food additives approved by the FDA as safe for human consumption. Aspartame is an artificial sweetener that is marketed under several trade mark names such as: Equal, Nutra sweet, and Canderel. It can be found in many different foods and beverages sold world wide. You can even find this artificial sweetener in the condiment tray at restaurants. It is used daily by millions of Americans, some of which do not even know that this sweetener is poisoning their bodies.

Aspartame when digested breaks down into several different chemical components such as: aspartic acid, methanol, formic acid, and formaldehyde(The Aspartame Information Website).Once the sweetener is exposed to above 86 degrees Fahrenheit it chemically breaks down into formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is toxin that causes severe poisoning and is not something that the average, normal human being thinks of when they put this product on their food.

As stated by Mark Gold on his website “Aspartame......The Bad News” ten percent of aspartame is methanol which is a deadly poison. Methanol (wood alcohol) is a poisonous substance that some alcoholics consumed that caused them to become blind; in some cases it even resulted in death. The EPA States that “methanol is considered a cumulative poison due to the low rate of excretion once it is absorbed"("Sound and Fury"). When digested methanol’s chemical metamorphosis becomes formaldehyde and formic acid. They are both toxins and very dangerous with regular consumption.

The daily recommended amount of aspartame approved for daily human consumption approved by the FDA as given by Cory Brackett, is limited to a level of 7.8 mg/day(by the EPA). A beverage that contains aspartame, approximately one liter of diet soft drink, contains 56 mg. That is exactly 42.8 mg higher than the daily recommended values. Many regular consumers use on an average daily basis, approximately 250 mg/day("Sound and Fury") . That is 32 times the recommended limit!

Aspartame was discovered accidently in 1965, by a chemist named James Schaller("The Dorway to Discovery"). He accidently discovered the sweetener when he licked his finger, which was contaminated, and noticed that it was extremely sweet. The sweetener is 200 times sweeter than sugar in concentrations. The fact that a small amount is necessary to produce the sweetness desired the calorie intake is immeasurable. This then made it appear to be a reasonable additive to diet products to help aid with the calorie consumption.

He then presented the sweetener for safety testing administered by the U.S. Food and Drug administration (also known as the FDA). The FDA did not approve for the sweetened additive to be used for human consumption for many years. It appeared to be harmful to digest this chemical due to the effects it had presented in laboratory rats. Laboratory studies showed, when consumed by the rats, it caused cancer. Schaller would proceed with many failed attempts, to try to manipulate the FDA to approve the sweetener. Aspartame was studied by the (PBOI) Public Board of Inquiry to prove if it may or may not be linked to brain cancer and found that it appeared safe.

The FDA after several different trials and studies (showing the additive caused seizures and brain cancer in laboratory rats) finally approved the additive safe for use in dry goods. Ronald Regan, the new president, had taken office that same year and a new commissioner for the FDA was appointed. On the (“Sound and Fury")website created by Cory Brackett, he unfolds this scandal and reveals the truth behind aspartame’s approval. He discovered that Donald Rumsfeld, president of G.D. Searle Company (which is the manufacturer of the additive) appeared to be affiliated with Republican Party during the time of Regan’s campaign. There was substantial evidence that led to the conclusion that Searle persuaded Regan to resign the FDA commissioner that would not approve aspartame and hire the one that would.

Knowing all the diverse side effects that may be a hazardous result upon the American people, it was approved anyway. Rumsfeld was so determined to get this chemical approved he even informed his partners that”he would call all his makers and that he would see to it that aspartame was approved that year…” In one incident when questioned during a class action suit against the companies that produce the artificial sweetener, Jacquelle Verret, (the former senior scientist who was a member of the FDA’s Bureau of Foods Tasks Force) stated in her testimony” I do not feel that was done, based on what I have read in the GAO report that I have looked at and so forth. They definitely did not objectively evaluate these studies, and I really think it should have been thrown out from day one” ("Dorway to Discovery").The scandal behind the approval was backed by greed and power. I honestly believe this toxic sweet poison was approved with failed studies to prove it was safe for us and safe for our children to consume.

The first well known incident of aspartame poisoning appeared during the Desert Storm, gulf war. Large quantities of aspartame sweetened soda were shipped over to the troops fighting for our freedom and defending our country. The diet soda had been exposed to the heat levels (86 degrees) required for the methanol to transform into formaldehyde. A number of troops sadly returned home with mysterious conditions. Some of the conditions resembled many cases that had been reported earlier and appeared to have been diagnosed as formaldehyde poisoning.

Another complete voluntary laboratory research conducted by Inness –Brown, proved that once again there was no possible way that aspartame was a safe additive. Inness-Brown who obtained a master’s degree in math and a bachelor’s in nutrition, decided to conduct a series of laboratory tests from her home; hoping to convince her family to stop drinking so much Diet Pepsi. The study was preformed using the form of aspartame that is a house hold name and is also in Diet Pepsi as a sweetened additive, Nutra Sweet. She purchased eight rats from Pet Co, got them home and put them in cages, where they quickly reproduced into numbers of 100. She fed them Kaytee’s Supreme Fortified Daily Blend for rats and mice and gave then Nutra Sweet mixed in with their water. The results were amazing ten percent of the rats became ill, while forty five percent of the rats grew huge tumors. They appeared to be the size of golf balls. When her preliminary studies finally appeared on line, the website received more then 185,000 shocked viewers. She received emails stating that the people who had visited the website after seeing these horrifying photos of these poor animals. They vowed never to drink aspartame again. The website apparently had a major impact in the way they viewed the sweetener’s major effects on the human body and hopefully the word will get out. She plans on self publishing her one hundred page study.

A professor of Nutrition and Public Health from New York University read over her documentations. Marion Nestle replied”What does this all prove? Nothing definite. Still” he went on to say”it’s an astonishing thing to have done.”

The conditions of aspartame and/or formaldehyde poisoning vary in unbelievable proportions. During my own research just off the internet, I found over 92 different types of illnesses or side effects believed to be linked to this sweetened toxin. There is a vast range and I am only naming a few here Arthritis, Asthma, Diabetes, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Hyper tension are just to name a few of the many common diseases millions of Americans suffer with everyday of their life. The most common aspartame symptoms worsen and replicate a lot of neurological diseases such as: Fibromyalgia, Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, Lupus, Epilepsy, Alzheimer’s, and Lyme’s disease. Montel Williams, a daytime talk show host who suffers from multiple sclerosis has even been quoted stating: Multiple Sclerosis is often misdiagnosed, and that it could be aspartame poisoning…”As stated by Lendon Smith, a medical doctor, ‘there is an enormous population suffering from side effects associated with aspartame, yet have no idea why drugs, supplements, and herbs don’t relieve their symptoms.”

Janet Starr Hull was diagnosed with a mysterious disease called “Graves Disease”, which is a fatal thyroid disease that has no cure. She had previously obtained a doctorate in nutrition and a master’s degree in Environmental Science. She explains on her website “Sweet Poison” how she at the time of her illness, had consumed aspartame products. She claims that she cured herself by halting the use of these products and no longer suffers from the disease at all. She discovered that she had all the signs from her own research, of aspartame poisoning along with the symptoms of “Graves Disease”. Now she was able to help people with the same problems she had faced. She was ready to make the public aware of the truth about the toxin and what kind of effects it can have on your body. In 1992 it appeared that four lives were claimed as a result of aspartame use. There is no actual way to tell how many more have been liked to aspartame. She also explains that 8 out of ten of her clients’ symptoms mysteriously disappear when they stop using aspartame based products. She has a ten step program available for the public to view on her web page on how to detoxify you from aspartame.

Aspartame is not prejudice against the young either; it also has an effect on our children as well. We believe as good parents that our children should not be exposed to poor diets. We all know that corn syrup is not healthy for anyone’s consumption. We try to remove those kinds of unhealthy fattening additives away from our children’s diets by introducing them to sugar-free juices and food products. I have found out through my research that my children would probably be better off if I just give them the corn syrup.

Aspartame appears safely in a lot of different children’s products. It is used in children’s vitamins, Pedialyte, sugar free Jell-O and sugar free puddings. We feel confident administering these aspartame treats to our children thinking that we may be saving their life’s from obesity and other health problems that are associated with a corn syrup diet.

Reading on down her website was a story about a little three year old named Katrina. Her parents consumed diet soft drinks and fed her foods that contained aspartame. Her mother even consumed these products while she was pregnant, even with an okay from her doctor. On Katrina’s third year check up her mother informed her doctor that the little girl had been complaining about an earache. She was given an antibiotic and sent home. Her mother became very concerned when the child’s earache worsened two days later. Katrina then began to complain over a tummy ache that lasted over eight weeks. She started experiencing loose stools along with the tummy aches that began to bother her daily. Her mother started noticing that her child appeared to have vision problems and was a little clumsier than other children. She seemed a little hyperactive at times and her speech appeared to be slurred. She was finally referred to a neurologist by her pediatrician to investigate what was causing her to have such strange problems.

Then the most horrifying thing happened to Katrina her ear infection got worse. She began to get sick and in the mean time she would sip on diet soda to ease her belly. She was given antibiotics and Tylenol with codeine from her doctor. She became lethargic, unable to eat, and unable to sleep. The parents decided it was best to return to the doctor’s office the next morning.

When they awoke the next day, they noticed that Katrina slept later than usual. Her mother decided that since she was so sick it was best to let her sleep. Her mother went to her bedside to check on her and found the child unconscious in a comatose state. They immediately contacted 911 for medical help.

When the ambulance arrived they found that Katrina’s whole left side of her body was paralyzed. No one had an explanation what was wrong with her and what had caused such a terrible effect. She had a seizure while being transported to the hospital in the ambulance.

When they arrived at the hospital’ they preformed numerous tests. None of the tests or the doctors could find anything and had no clue that would help to diagnose what was going on with her. She was then transferred to Riley children’s hospital at Indiana University. She was in ICU for two weeks on life support and remained in there for a total of four weeks. She had several epileptic seizures while in ICU which caused the medical staff to put her into a Pentobarbital coma to help aid the seizures off. Failure to gain control of the seizures would have possibly caused brain damage or even death. Unsure whether heir child was going to live, they had no diagnosis to give any clues to prevent this from happening again. She finally made progress and her doctor persuaded to keep her on anitculvisants just to be on the safe side. She received almost 300,000 dollars in health care expenses that left them with no answers and no solutions.

The family moved to Dallas, Texas where a friend informed her with information on aspartame poisoning. Her parents were shocked to find that finally they linked together something doctors could not explain. The aspartame poisoning had been a result of daily vitamins that contained aspartame. Her mother took the vitamins away and her symptoms disappeared amazingly. Katrina still suffers from the damages done by irreversible effects of aspartame, but now at least they know what caused it. I would have never imagined that a simple children’s vitamin could have such a life altering experience on a child. The sweetener the FDA deemed safe has a bad reputation for being silent, sweet, and deadly.

In the article posted on William Campbell Douglas’s website “Escape the Aspartame trap”, he states: “The massive introduction of the neurotoxin into the food supply is nothing less then biological warfare against every single one of us and the only acceptable conclusion is to ban it from the food chain.” I couldn’t agree more after reading the horror stories from the innocent victims of food politics. The FDA did not want to approve aspartame it took sixteen years. It took one greedy man driven by the desire to make some money at the expense of other peoples health. They haven’t legalized suicide but they make it legal for them to kill you.

Dr.Adrian Gross, the toxicologist for the FDA, states “without a shadow of a doubt, aspartame can cause brain tumors and brain cancer…. ‘. The law called the” Delaney cause” states that it is illegal to submit people to a substance that causes cancer in experimental animals. Instead of making the public aware of the dangers with the use of this toxic substance they stamped it with the GRAS qualification (“Generally Regarded as Safe).

Doctors have wondered for years why there has been such a significant rise in neurological diseases. Well, when 66 percent of adults and 40 percent of children are consuming this deadly toxin there has to be a rise in a whole lot of nerve related diseases. Although aspartame clings to all sorts of cell types, its favorite appears to be the cells of the central and peripheral nervous systems. There are nerve cells all over your body which means that aspartame can damage your whole body from head to toe. This can cause a series of different diseases and side effects.

The reason we don’t hear this information all over the media or in your local health pamphlets at your doctor’s office is simply because they are being paid to keep it quiet. The food industry is a huge money making market and if a word of this leaked out, well to be honest, they would loose money. Would you go out and buy a product that’s had facts posted every where saying that is caused 92 different diseases and complicated other ones? I have to honestly say I think not. Just proving that aspartame is not safe for human consumption it never was to begin with. Money and politics are the links to hide the truth about this deadly toxin this deadly toxin. Now, do you think aspartame is as safe as they claim it to be? You tell me.

trying to maintain

Wow!, mom always told me " life doesn't get any better, you just get better at coping with it." I love this time of year, but it is hard when your alone. I am tired of being alone. I have a lot on my plate and not enough room to stomach it so I brush what I can't eat aside and I feel wasteful.I need some relief so I am praying for a miracle. Life is like a mirror, it's a reflection of how you see yourself. I see myself sucessful and independent. I also see myself as alone. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I guess I need to reflect on why I am here and what got me here.

lol

Dear GOD, I have a problem......... Its me! lol
I do not know why, everytime i turn around I freak out about the little things in my life. I know god is in control, guess I need to start believing it! I panic about everything, he has gotten me this far through some rough situations and he will continue to carry me on foward through the rest. I think sometimes we make things that are really simple, complicated. I just really thought about this. It is not perfeect never will be. It is all simply just okay.

UGHHHH!!! Humpday hurry

This is going to be rough week. Its all nasty and rainy outside. I have gotten two letters home within a two week period from my youngest child who is in pre-k. I had to go talk to her teacher this morning and on top of it all my house taxes are due which are extremely exspensive. They make you pay them right before christmas which really hurt the pocket. I am so blessed though so I have no other complaints than that. I am just ready for this week to be over with so i can get on to the thanksgiving mood.

WOW!!

We are so lied to in this country. We believe this crap, no wonder, the rest of the world thinks that we are all stupid Americans. The FDA is poisoning us omg!!! I had no idea they were putting this crap in our food! I am really freaking out no wonder we have so many health problems. people are overweight because of this crap. they keep blaming it on our poor diets. They are creating our poor diets. Is anything healthy anymore? I look on the back of labels when i buy something and cannot understand what each ingredient is. Wow, we all need to check this crap out.

Just in shock!!

We have had an awesome week. We have a new hampster and I just found out today that I have an average of 90 in my math class which is awesome!!! I am so thankful for that! I was really worried because I wasn't sure whether or not i was gonna make it out of that class but so far so good! I can't wait to get through the next few classes I have to take because I finally feel like I am on my way!!! Before to long, I will have a degree in something. I am so proud!!!

Rainy day, Busy week

I love this time of year but I do not like the weather! I am soaked to the core my shoes are soaked and my clothes are soaked! Its suppossed to rain all day! I am so looking foward to the weekend though. Halloween is Saturday and my kids are so excited. The leaves are changing to these beautiful colors, like red, orange, and yellow. It is definately the holiday season. We carved a pumpkin and set it out in the yard. It looks really cute and sweet. I aligned it with three little pumpkins at the bottom which, Friday night I am going to let my children draw on. I have so much to do and preapare for. I have a festival party to plan for my kindergarteners class on Friday.I am going to back cupcakes and make candy bags. So I have a busy week ahead!

Had a pretty decent week

Well, I can honestly say I have had a pretty decent week! I am just hoping it continues out that way! Anyways, I got all my bills paid. Paid up my house taxes which are horrifying this year! I am so excited about the holidays coming up! Can't wait for Christmas, I have began purchasing a few things here and there!I think I am finally catching on in math. Got my drawers cleaned out in my kitchen and I am finally doing my fall reorganizing.So this time of year is a big change for just like the leaves turn on the trees and the days grow shorter and colder. Everything slows down and warmth feels the air. I love the colors all around. My church celebrates a lot of different events for the kids that are free.I just have enjoyed this week being that this feels like a new beginning to a new yaer ahead and I am excited to see where I am at a year from now!

contrast paper

Cassandra Hayes
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1101
Comparison and Contrast
October 22, 2009


Different Strokes for Different Folk

I live in a fairly old, middle-class suburban neighborhood in south Bibb County. You know the kind of neighborhood where all the houses look alike. Every yard is super green and neatly cut, all in a line with the prettiest flowers and lovely shrubbery. We all make about the same income and have about the same beliefs in religion. All of our kids attend the same schools and dress in the same kind of clothing. We are so very diverse in so many ways, but mainly by our outlook on our children. Looks can be deceiving. Some of my neighbors, when it comes to their views on raising children, are so dysfunctional.

I am a very conservative mother I guess you could say. I am like clockwork, very routine and organized. I have a time set aside for every one of our daily events. We wake up at seven o’clock a.m. and we are in bed by nine o’clock p.m. This is my daily routine everyday. I believe children need order and structure. They feel secure and in control when they know what lies ahead and what to expect.

I am the mother of the neighborhood who is in charge of getting everybody to school. They used to fight over who sits in the front seat and now it rotates. I walk all of them, including the neighborhood kids, into their classrooms. They beg me to come in. It gives me such a great feeling to do that for them because they know I love them and it makes their day.
I pick them all up in the afternoon as well. I drop them off at home and head to my house to finish up our daily routine. We come in the house they set their shoes in the shoe caddy. Then they immediately sit down at the table with a snack and start their homework. When they are done, we eat supper and then its free time to play or watch television. At seven o’clock I round up the herd and they take a bath and get ready to go to sleep.

I have a routine for their clothes at night. They are laid neatly beside their beds, with matching shoes and socks. I like to be prepared, no looking for anything in the morning. Something out of place creates chaos and wasted time. I like the fact then when my children are getting ready in the morning, I am in a good mood and smiling. They know what to do and what to expect.

My dysfunctional neighbors really bug me. I pull up outside their homes and wait for their children to finish getting ready to go to school. It never fails that the child is busy,which makes us late, playing detective in the case of the missing shoes. It just aggravates the crap out of me; how tired these kids are when they get in my car. I ask “Why are you so tired?” with a reply of “Well, I couldn't fall asleep till late, because I was watching television.” Before my head hits my pillow my kids are asleep. I don’t care what program they are watching, their bedtime is nine o’clock.

It trips me out, how I offer to take their kids to school and they are off from work at home not doing anything. I feel like they are not involved with their children like they should be. I don’t always feel like getting up and going into that school either but I do because I want to support my children during their education. I bet all of teachers know my name and have probably never even seen their parents.

When we return home from school, every child in the neighborhood shows up. It amazes me we have been home for five minutes, there is no absolute way that they have had time to do their homework. They are probably not even acknowledged when they walk in the door. It makes me feel sorry for them. They don’t get the daily snack that I provide my kids as we sit and do homework.

I cook every night and half the time the other kids in the neighborhood are eating out. It puzzles me, that when they come to spend the night at my house, they will not eat healthy food. They don’t like vegetables at all. My kids fight over broccoli. That has got to be because of pure out laziness on their parents’ behalf. I am a full time student and on top of it I am the only single mom in my neighborhood. There is just flat out no excuse for these children having such a poor diet.

I barely ever spank my kids. These dysfunction junction idiots do it all the time, like they don’t know exactly how to communicate or something. You can hear their redneck voices screaming down the road for their child. If my child is at their house playing I call on the phone to speak to them and tell her to come home. I don’t drink in front of my kids. It never fails my children will come back and tell me what the parents at the neighbors’ house were doing. I don’t mind people drinking, I do it on occasion but at three o’clock in the afternoon, I think that’s a little inappropriate.

Bedtime is not existent to my neighbors. They think you can go to bed at four o’clock in the morning and function all day. Then they wonder why their child is failing classes at school. Their children will knock on the door to play all the way up to almost eight o’clock. We are in the bathtub getting ready to lie down to rest our minds so that we can perform well the next day. I bet their parents just stuff them full of hamburgers and sent them out the door to get them out of their hair. I feel so sorry for these children.

I am not the perfect parent. I know I have made mistakes. God knows, I try to teach my kids how to be productive in every aspect of life. I may not have a life of my own, but I know I will be rewarded by the success of my children one day. I do not mean to sound judgmental but there is really no excuse in the way these people treat their children. I guess it’s true that there are different strokes for different folks. I have to respect their life style choices but they make no absolute sense to me at all. Even though, when you ride through my neighborhood we all may appear to be the same kind of people. We are all so totally different ;one way to tell is by the way we raise our children.

YAY!!!

I am so proud of myself I made an eighty- eight on my math test! I have never made a B in math; so thats quite an accomplishment for me. I am a little nervous about the next few chapters though. We are getting into the graphs and ratios, which is something I have never seen before. I am hoping I will be prepared for the next test, which is in two weeks. So I know I am going to have to study very hard and practice. Over all I am feling good about this math anxiety I have.I only have one more math class after these two are done then I am on my way to getting my degree! YAY!!!!

Had a great weekend!

I don't know what happened to me. I used to be able to ride all the fair rides, that would throw you all about. We went to the fair this weekend. I couldn't ride anything, but I ate like a fat hog. They should have put me in the dairy arena as an exhibit! My oldest child,Drennen, wanted to ride all the scary rides. I fussed at her for her bravery and only allowed her to ride one! I was standing at the bottom of the ride as it tossed her little slender body about. I had a panic attack which then made the man running the ride decide to make it faster! I was about to cry and he looked at me and said" Mam, you are crying more than she is!". I wanted to just reached up there and press the stop button. I remember being her age and being fearless until i got on the ride and it was going. That feeling of being absolutely powerless as it lifted me up off the ground. No turning back now, I now had to manage to keep my eyes closed for the next three minutes and try not to throw up on the spectators laughing at the fools on death row. I understand she wants to try something new and thrilling but, does she have to give me a heart attack in the process! We really did have a great time though. My youngest daughter won a fish and it died the next day. We all gathered around the porcelain coffin and said our goodbyes as he swirled down the sewer lines. Poor thing!!!She was verysad too. Although , I reminded her how much fun she had winning him.We got home around twelve o'clock and I was beat. I didn't even get up till one o'clock the next day.

The example essay

As far as I am concerned, this was a fairly easy paper to write. I enjoyed expressing my beliefs about my thesis, in my own words. It took a little time for my to really sit down and brain storm, what I was really trying to say. I just factored it out and from there I wrote my essay. I can't wait to get started on my next essay. I heard that one will be the hardest one to write. Well, I guess I will find out soon enough!

The V.C.R. was hungry

My middle child says some of the strangest things! She is absolutely hilarious. I was finishing up a few things on the computer last night when she comes into the living room and tells me that the V.C.R, messed up one of her favorite movies. I took the tape from her hand. She looks at me pitifully and asks"What happened to it momma?". I laughed and said"Well, the V.C.R. ate it?". She looks at me puzzled and then asked me "WOW! Is it hungry?". I about died laughing. She was being so serious, bless her heart. In her little mind, she really imagined the V.C.R. was hungry and literally ate her tape. I got a great laugh out of that one.

my frineds have no faith in me

I need to find some new friends. I have recently,decided it was time to quit smoking. My friends have no faith in me!I told them about wanting to acheive this high goal and they laughed at me. I am just so aggrevated with their mindless gestures. I mean seriously they call me at four o'clock in the morning telling me all their problems. They always tell me about how they need to find a new man, but stay with the jerks they're with! I never give them any heed about what they do.I am just tell them I support whatever decision they make. I have no right to tell anyone how to do anything. They always have the answers to all my porblems. I love them dearly but, its time to move on. lol I am joking, i am blessed to have each and every singe one of my aggrevating, alcoholic friends and wouldn't take anything in this world for them. they just have no faith in me whatsoever. I would be proud if they decided to quit partying. I did along time ago. So if I can do that, so can they. I believe they can wouldn't laugh at them.UGHHH!Oh well I am trying to quit I might get fat, but I am going to quit. lol Tommorrow!!!

not me

I have discovered that my children have a friend, whom I have never met, that practically lives at our house! I don't know what gender this person is. I don't even know where they came from or where they live. All I know is this person's name is Not Me. Not Me is a very distructive little person. I can go around my house at any given time through out the day and find a trail of this person's distruction. When I ask my children why there is a huge mess all over the house. They all reply "Not Me!". I really do wish I could find this person and scold them. I really don't want this person at my house. My children do such a great job of making them leave before I come around to assess the damage Not Me has made. I wish I knew who Not ME's parents were, they owe me a lot of money for repairs! Not me wripped wall paper off my kitchen wall. Not Me has tore the towel rack off my bathroom wall. I don't even know Not Me, but i already think this person is a bad influence on my children. I will find out who not me is and this will be handled. I guess until then Not Me will sneak around me because I think they know I am out to get to them. This may be in their best interest because me finding them could be hazardous to their health. LOL I have told my children that he isn ot allowed to come play at our house anymore. They look at me like I am crazy. This person is about to make me crazy!

Example essay

Cassandra Hayes
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1101 Example Paper
September 22, 2009
Poisoned by Fairy Tales
There they sit with gleam, beaming in their eyes, with their heads mounted on their fists. They appear as if they are in a trance. Absorbing all the words, flowing from my mouth, like little sponges. Their little innocent minds are being corrupted by these non- fictional stories we call fairy tales. I remember being their age and my mom reading me these stories. I would sit, just as they are, and day dream about my own fairy tale and how it would end. I dreamt I was a beautiful young, maiden who was imprisoned by life hardships. The answer to all my problems would arrive in shining armor and rescue me. I planned out my whole happily ever after.
The maiden portrayed in the story, is usually young, fair, and locked away in a tower of doom. She is being held captive by an evil tyrant who is jealous of her beauty. Her passive personality is disguised by sweetness and innocence. She appears to be helpless and totally powerless to defend herself from her adversary. Even though she has been through some rough places in her life, she appears to not be bitter. She is also an inexperienced virgin, who has lived a very sheltered life. We as women have embedded this unrealistic concept in our minds that we are to be unflawed and unscarred. Women are to appear to be soft and gentle. They are to appear to be innocent and kind- hearted, no matter what circumstances in life they have faced. This standard has been set up for us by society. Anything less than this standard is unacceptable.
I always had this feeling that I wasn’t good enough. I was a tom boy growing up. I didn’t care to play with dolls and make up. My hair wasn’t long and silky, I kept it short. I never fit the criteria of the fairy tale princess. I wondered if my ‘Prince Charming’ would ever come to my rescue. I think now that I am older; he must have put the wrong address in his navigation system. Just like a typical man always late.
I can’t help but point out the fact as well, that ‘Prince Charming’ isn’t the average typical male. He is portrayed in the story books as a fair young man. He has no cares burdening him. He is running free, like a wild horse. He meets the lovely young maiden and instantly he has fallen in love. He longs to sweep her off her feet and carry her away to his castle. He is a brave knight in shining armor that will battle any thing that stands in the way of her love. He arrives on his valiant steed, pulls out his golden sword, and races up the tower to save her from her suffering. He loves her; there can be no one else for him. He sound so terrific, almost dream like. We as young women and young men set this image as well in our mind. I have come to find in my own experience with the opposite sex, that men are like predators searching for prey with a short lived victory. We have this concept that they are to appear as strong, tall, dark, and handsome. They are to be the woman’s savior, the provider, and the king of the castle. They are to be worshiped and treated like royalty. This standard we set for men is also their down fall. If a man, by society standards, is jobless or unable to support his family, then he is unworthy. He has to be the strong minded, brave warrior who doesn’t blink an eye in the face of trouble. Some men even believe that a man should even cry. They feel inferior if a woman makes more money then them. They are to be in complete control of all situations at all times. Women are to be needy and humbled by what they do for us. Women are to respect their authority and recognize them as the so called “Prince Charming’ who has come to rescue us. Well my prince didn’t show up on valiant steed. He showed up in a beat up older model Nissan truck, but it was white. He didn’t sweep me off my feet and carry me to a beautiful castle far away; instead he carried me to a trailer parked right in his parents’ yard. It was good enough for me; he never thought that was enough. I hate that he could never see past all that he accomplished at such a young age. These unrealistic story book characters had corrupted his mind as well.
We have all been poisoned by fairy tales. We somehow believe these illusions dissipated in these stories are things that happen in real life. Like the witch in disguise that hands the fair maiden the poisoned apple. We have been poisoned by books, disguised as innocent children’s fairy tales, and we have eaten the words. These books set unrealistic standards of how women and men are to be portrayed. No wonder we there are so many failed relationships and marriages. These images always haunt us in the back of our mind leading to utter disappointment. We feel as if we lack something that is required to achieve our happily ever after. We feel like complete failures when were struggling week to week to pay bills. I wonder if Cinderella ever caught her husband at a bar with another woman or if Snow White ever had an extra marital affair with one of the seven dwarfs. That’s the reality that is so selfishly hidden from us as children. The truth is we have all been deceived. We have all been poisoned by that apple.

I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Okay, so I get a call to come and get my four year old from school Thursday. I go pick her up thinking she has a little cold. I rush her home and administer her some cough syrup and she falls asleep. Later on that night that little cold became a demon. UGHHH i realized she had the flu. It spread like wildfire, so from Thursday night of last week till today which is Tuesday my whole family has been sick. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired! My poor babies are coughing constantly and I am coughing up things I wonder if I should name. seriously, something has got to give. We can't even eat a decent meal. I got in the kitchen, as sick as I have been, and proceeded to cook them a four course meal. They couldn't even stomach the aroma coming from the kitchen! poor babies! I am hoping and prying that we all get better. We don't have the swine flu. We have what I call the winey flu cuz it makes you winey . lol

Single is rough

I have three children who are sick.:( I haven't gotten hardly any sleep but needless to say I am here. Its rough to be a single mom with three children under ten. I laugh when I go to the grocery store and old people see me and say " You sure have your hands full". I just smile and reply " I would rather have them full and then empty". It has been , being a single mom, one of the hardest challenges I have ever had to face. I have to pay all the bills, buy groceries, make sure homework is done, and make sure we all have clean clothes. I do it though by the grace of God. I do plan on meeting someone and possibly getting remarried but, I am so picky. I don't know if I'll ever meet anyone who can live up to my high expectations. i think my children deserve the best and that's what I want them to have. I will except no less than that. For now the grass and the oil changes fall under a long "Cassie" do-list but I will manage. I have come this far on my own and been in tighter situations. I really have nothing to complain about I am truly blessed.

My biggest challenge

Okay, so i like to talk. I love to overuse words and I know I have a big problem with gliding off subject. When I first sat down and stared at that blank piece of paper it was as blank as my brain. I jotted down a few ideas. It took me two days to decide from the ten I had which one to use. I chose the morning of my first day of college simply because it was the freshest thing to my mind.
I remember crying while writing it thinking back to that day. I sat down and just poured my heart out. I was very nervous that the subject I had picked wouldn't be catchy enough. I imagine I reread that paper a hundred times before I decided to stick with it.
My main concern about the whole paper was punctuation. It has been eleven years since I have been in high school and I had to pull out that handbook a thousand times. I must have went through every sentence and scratched out a mistake.
When i sit down to write,to me, its kinda like I am having a conversation with a piece of paper. I just write and write whatever comes into my head, just like I do when I talk. So, you could imagine, it went from six pages to, when I typed it, to just two. I had so many sentences scratched out it wasn't even funny. All and all though I think I did a good job. Hopefully, the next essay I have will be even better.

September 11, 2001

I volunteered to accompany my daughter to a remembrance walk on Friday, September eleventh. I explained to my children that we were to be silent during the walk to honor those who lost their lives that very tragic day. I can remember that day very well. I was awaken to my neighbor banging on my door yelling "Cassie, Wake up and turn on the news!" in a very frightening shriek, she said " The United States is under a terrorist attack!" I remember jumping out of bed, running down the hall, and panicking as I saw the second plane hit the the Twin Tower.
It was an experience I will never forget. I think back and it stills brings tears to my eyes. In my lifetime I have experienced something as horrible as the forty's generation ,"Pearl Harbor". What bothers me the most is my children wondering why we we're even doing this ceremony and what's the point. It flipped me out! How could I let them just walk around and not know what we're doing this for. I immediately turned on the computer and made them watch the videos. They sat silently, and watched with wide teary eyes, just as I had done eight years before. They had a million questions as they watched people jumping for their lives while the buildings burned. When the buildings fell to the ground they gasped as they watched because they knew there were people inside. I let them listen to the 911 calls from the victims before the buildings fell. When we had finished the last video they finally understood why this ceremony was taking place and how important it was to honor those who gave up their lives trying to help the victims as well as those who were trapped due to the fires. We stood outside the flag that morning silently. My children had their eyes on the flag like it was a Sponge bob cartoon they had never seen. Now, they know what September 11 was all about. I am proud i had the opportunity to explain this to them. It will make the day so much more meaningful then just a walk around their school with pretty red, white, and blue doors.

Life is Too Short for Long-Term Mistakes

I am single have been now for three years. No, it is not what I want but, I think for now it is what I need. I don't really have time to get romantically involved with anyone. I have three kids who have homework on top of my homework. I really don't think I have the time or the patience to deal with anything else. I have a very routine life, I get up at six and go to bed by ten. I am comfortable with being by myself. I really don't want to drag anyone into my children's lives for them to get attached to. I have been there and done that got the t- shirt and the tote bag.(In case you want to borrow them.) LOL I really just want to meet the one! I am waiting on GOD and I am trying to figure out what I want. Accidents happen when your into big of a hurry to do absolutely nothing. That's my philosophy on life. Just slow down and enjoy the ride. It is what it is. When the time arrives, I will just know it.:) So, for now I am on a little detour and enjoying the scenery.:)

What is My problem?

I am not complaining about anything in my life. I know I am truly blessed and have a lot more than other people. I have three wonderful children who are healthy and outgoing. I have the house, the privacy fence, and the nice soccer mom hot rod. I have it all needles to say. Are we ever satisfied with what we have. I think I spend to much time emphasizing what I don't have, that I sometimes forget what I do have. I think I want so much, so fast that I take the little things for granted.

I guess you can call me a pessimistic. I don't know what happened to me because I used to be a totally different person. I think so much negative stuff happened in my life, in such a short period of time, I lost track of what was really important. I have just piddled away day after day. I ponder on things that really don't matter. Bills are going to come in whether I like it or not. There will be dirty dishes in the sink and clothes to wash for the rest of my life.

I noticed this morning, that my children wake up with smiles, not even caring what is going to come there way. They just get up and face it. I walk around the house like a chicken with my head cut off with a bad case of O.C.D. I fuss about stupid stuff that can wait till later. So there I am sucking the joy out of our early morning routine like a leech. I wish I could just sit back and relax. I really want to learn to enjoy these next few years with them because this is it. Soon they will all be grown up and raising their own families. I want to teach them to slow down and enjoy every minute of their lives because we are not promised tomorrow.

On my way to school this morning, I felt like slapping my self. What is my problem? I really have nothing to complain about! I am so blessed and need to start focusing on someone else besides myself. I hope they can see past my short comings and learn to avoid becoming a miserable adult.

I used to be such a fun person. I used to take time to smell the roses and enjoy the scenery on the detours. I am turning into my mother and I can't do that! I know have to be responsible now and in control but do I have to really just fall into that pit of no return. No joy, no fun , and no relaxation. I know I have got to stop this now. I do not want to conform into to the life I have tried so hard to avoid. I am going to stop and think from now on about, what is really important, what is really worth getting upset about. Like Obama said " It's time for a change!".

I want to teach my girls to be happy no matter what and when life gives you lemons make lemon aide.

What a week!

Man, what a week I have had! I am still learning how to adjust to the changes that took place this past month. OK, getting up early and getting dressed out of my bed clothes, not my thing! For the past three years I have sat on my butt. Now I have to get up and get four people out the door. I have a annoying cat; whom for some reason has to fed every morning, lol poor thing.Why should he be fed every morning the nerve of him! Then there's the little angels i have who run around screaming "Mom!" So and so has my belt!" I am about ready to duck tape their clothes to them! OMG! What is wrong with them? It takes all I have to keep patient. I come to school with a gazillion things running through my head. Its an endless cycle of a honey do list but it's mine! UGHHHHHH!

The Morning of My First Day of College

Cassandra Hayes
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1101
September 2, 2009






The Morning of My First Day of College


At five o’clock a.m. my eyes popped open like someone had clapped their hands dead in my face, almost like I was under hypnosis. I didn’t need the alarm clock like I thought I would. I lay in my bed and stared at the digital clock beside me watching the numbers change in anticipation for six o’clock to arrive. I lay in my bed figuring out how to advise the days upcoming events.
Over the past three years I have waited for this day to come. Here it was the day I started to build that bridge into my future. I thought about how I had taken the previous years for granted.
I am a widow at the age of twenty-seven. My husband died three years ago. I decide to stay at home and care for our two youngest children, Leara and Savanna. This past year Leara has turned four and Savanna has turned five. I cried at the thought that they were no longer my babies. Now they were on their way into the world that I had sheltered them from. They were starting their journeys to becoming productive members of society. Training to be Uncle Sam’s little taxpaying slaves! Their freedom of the castle and its amenities had been traded for a desk and books aligning four walls. No longer would they be the princesses of the castle and be treated like royalty. Instead they traded their crowns for purple book bags and their gowns and glass slippers for uniforms and tennis shoes.
The King had fallen and was gone. The Queen had let his legacy live on through his children. Our little fantasy world had come to an end. Now we are all slaves to the clock. It tells us when to wake up and when to sleep. It pressures us into changing the careless lives we once knew into boot camps of training not only the girls to be responsible, but for me as well.
So as the alarm clock sounded out its trumpet. I knew it was time to gather the soldiers in training to prepare for the day of battle.
I pulled away from the school my children attended on the way to mine. I cried at the thought of how our lives were changing. As with any change, “No pain, no gain.” I knew it had to be done. I knew this from the beginning and I’m grateful for the time I had watching them grow from babies into little children.
As I headed into that world I had forgotten about. I was afraid. I guess it’s human nature to fear the unknown. I hope that I taught my children how to adapt, to open their minds to new things and to eagerly explore their new world.
This is a big change for all of us, but we have already experienced a lot of other life changing events and survived. I think that we will all be okay.
I pulled into the parking lot found a decent parking spot. I wondered how I was going to find my first class. Then I thought, if my four and five year old can survive their first day of school, so can I. Then, I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car.

My first time driving to atlanta by myself

My First Time Driving to Atlanta by Myself


I pulled out of the driveway around four o’clock that morning with a cup of coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other. I was a little nervous because for one I had never driven to Atlanta by myself and two I was trying out for American Idol. To make matters even more nerve racking, the weather did not look to promising. The sky was lit up with bolts of lightning like a knife cutting through the clouds. The thunder sounded like someone was beating on a sheet of metal over and over again. I hate driving in rainy conditions to begin with and I definitely did not want to be driving through them on that long trip to Atlanta. I remember I was shaking so hard that my foot was lifting off the gas pedal. There were only a few drops of rain on my windshield, me being the phobic that I am, I was about to have an anxiety attack. I wanted to pull over and just wait it out. I called my mother and asked her to pray for protection and I even tried to beseech it like it was some kind of demon. Thank god no one was in the car with me. They would have had a good laugh at my expense. I hadn’t even made it to the audition yet. That was the moment to be having a nervous breakdown not on the road. I finally pulled it together and for the rest of the drive from Macon to the outskirts of Atlanta there was not one drop of rain. I should have known with my luck. As soon as I saw the first exit in Atlanta, I was rejoicing in my car like a crazy woman, like I had just won a race. I called my mom so proud “Hey! I made it!” I drove to Atlanta all by myself. I sat back in my seat pleased that I had made such a big accomplishment. Then, the unthinkable happened. After two hours of driving, not one drop of rain, the bottom falls out. Here I am fifteen minutes to that golden ticket to fame and fortune. At last, I was going to get my chance to sing my heart out in front the American Idol judges. A severe thunderstorm has to come through downtown Atlanta and take what little bit of sanity I had left. It was no ordinary storm. I never see truck drivers pull over. Needless to say they were pulled off to the left and right in emergency lanes because they could even see. The rain drops were so big and heavy hitting my windshield you would have thought someone had found a water balloon propeller and decided to attack me.

Little blessings in diguise

Okay, so I have been through so much the last five years. I don't know why I have had a series of unfortunate events happen in my life but, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! At least i would love to believe that. My husband was murdered about three years ago and that left me a single mom with three kids at the age of twenty three. Then, I thought I had met the man of my dreams and he turned into the man of my nightmares. For about the past eight months I have sat around and thought about what I did to deserve this. It finally came to me be thankful for all the little blessings disguised as pain. My husband dying taught me to not take people for granted. I had to learn to take on a load that I never imagined I could handle. At first, it was very hard being alone but, now I look back and I am so proud of myself for what I have accomplished on my own and by the grace of God. I am pretty much self sufficient. If something happens I can take care of it. Now looking back to loosing my ex. I am thankful for that because I didn't see at the time but i deserve so much better than what he had to offer me. Now things happen we can't quite understand but I try to remember it is all apart of God's perfect plan. I have gotten closer to God and realized that all i have to do is depend on him and nothing is impossible. I don't think I would have ever been happy with my ex. It wouldn't have been good for me or my children. So now I am waiting to see what wonderful things God has planned for my life and that's why I am in school. If i graduate I will be the first in my family to have a bachelor's degree. Now that I am single I have the opportunity to focus on my education. I could never seem to do so married or in a relationship. I am setting an example for my children to follow. I am just so glad I finally see things differently than I used to. Be thankful for all the little blessings disguised as pain.

Math is Like Me learning How to Tie My Shoes Again!

It's funny I was doing math tonight and I was going over the steps and my mind just keeps going blank. I don't know why, but I sure do wish I had someone here to show me how to do this. That's when I thought back to my mom and her ability to help me understand things clearer by showing me. I can remember when she taught me how to tie my shoes. There we were in front of the marble fireplace at our old house. I was a little girl I think I was around four or five. I remember my mom sitting right in front of me patiently guiding the loops through the loops over and over again. She would pause before she pulled them tighter to create the bowtie knot. She would cheer me on saying "That's it, Cassie!". I would look up fustrated because my little mind could not comprehend how in the heck she was holding onto those two loops in her hand and wrapping them around eachother. I would get so aggrevated I would have to stop and take a break and try again after she pepped me up for one more round. Even though she knew I was at my witt's end, she was still determined that I was going to learn how to tie my shoes before I got up from that floor. I thought of that tonight because I was going over my math and I got fustrated. So I decided to take a break! The only time I recalled being this fustrated was when I was learning how to tie my shoes. It required steps that I had to learn to build up to that final knot. So to me at this moment math is like tying shoes. You can't just sit down and tie them the first time right off the bat. You have to remember every step you take during the process. You can't just give up and throw it down. You have to keep trying until you have that knot. So now that I'm done bloggng I am going to go sit in front of my fieplace wake my mother up at eleven o'clock at night and ask her to come over here and show me how to do these math problems. Like, I am so sure she is going to come over here and do that. LOL But, the thought was nice. So now I am going backover to the couch to stare at those rules so hard I burn holes through the pages!!!! Hopefully, if I keep practicing it will be like tying my shoes! Something that seemed so impossible at one time in my life, became something I do everyday with out a second thought!!!

descriptive essay

Cassandra Hayes
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1101 – descriptive paragraph
August 25, 2009

My Trip to Jekyll Island

This summer on vacation, I took my three children to a little island off the coast of Georgia, called Jekyll Island. After a three hour drive and endless questions like;“Are we there yet?”, coming from the back seat from three very anxious little girls; we finally began to smell the warm salt water and see the palm trees swaying gently in the wind. All of the sudden the whole car seemed to get quiet. All the anxious commotion that had been displayed on the trip from my daughters had seized. I was shocked to see them so wide eyed but yet quiet as if they had so much going through their mind they had no idea how to get the questions out of their mouths. We drove along what seemed to me to be a photogragh of never-ending lines of beaches. The beautiful light golden sand beaches covered with sand castles, different colored beach towels, and coolers. You could hear the waves softly coming upon shore as the tide had already began to drift back out into the never ending oasis under the sun. The sparkles of light were like mirrors reflecting the sun so brightly into my eyes I had to squint. My children abruptly rushed out of the car to the boardwalk sounding like a herd of racing horses with their sand pails. I was bogged down as if I were a bag lady carrying everything else we had. My children to excited to offer a helping hand ran off like they were running for the sprint cup. I remember thinking on my way to the beach of how much I had prepared for this vacation and how much work it took just to get in the car. I wondered if i was even going to be able to relax at all. My girls made their way to the beach running through a flock of seagulls, carelessly, to the nearest wave that had rolled upon the shore. It took almost ten minutes for me to get to where they were because i had to carry all of our stuff. Finally, as I laid back in my beach chair with my feet in the sand knowing it would be just a few more hours before I would have to make that dreaded trip to the car. I closed my eyes knowing that I would have only a few precious days to enjoy putting my feet in the sand and having these three little sand devils occupied long enough for me to enjoy the sun. As night time fell and the other tourists like us made their way to their rooms on the shore, I turned around to catch a glimpse of what seemed like the ocean taking its rest as well. With the moon beaming over head I knew it was its time to relax. The waves seemed to calm and the man on the moon beamed down over as if it was admiring his reflection on the water as much as I was. It's funny how I never stop to admire it's beauty because I am always so busy with life's normal routine. The skys were almost like a bowl of little lights poured over the earth, and the ocean seemed to have no end. We headed to the hotel room just over the sand dune. I laugh thinking about how eager the girls were to get here and now how eager they were to get in a nice warm bath and relax. Maybe, after all I would be able to relax, slow down and enjoy my few days at the beach. Somehow all the effort I had put into this trip all seemed worth it.

If you gonna be stupid you better be tough!!

Omg, so I just left my last class and I'm freakin out because I didn't pay attention in high school! ughhhh. :( So now I'm in elementary algebra and I can't understand a thing and I feel so stupid. Its so funny how everyone told me back then and I didn't listen that I was going to wish I had. Go figure, they were right!! I am 27 years old and I used to look at math and think what in the world do I need this for anyways? Well now i know if your going to be stupid you better be tough because if you are planning on going to college and getting a degree well that general knowledge comes mighty handy to you if you pay attention. So, now i have to go home and study hard to figure out something i should have already learned by now. I feel so stupid! I wish I had listened to people and then i think about the fact I have three children and I hope they listen to me. I guess when your young you can't really comprehend how every little decision you make effects your life. So I am defiantly not complaining because it's my own fault. Now I am wishing i could go back and redo it all over again.:( But when I leave here to day I am going home parking my hiney at the table and studying till my eyeballs pop out. When i go to sleep tonight i will be counting numbers.LOL i just hope my A.D.D. permits me to sit still long enough! I really don't care for math because I am the type of person who loves to read. It doesn't interest me at all.

What I Hope to Accomplish

What I hope to accomplish out of this English class is the ability to confidently write any essay, short story, or poem. I love to write it has always been a dream of mine to maybe one day be a freelance writer or a song writer. I think that writing is a great stress reliever and I do it quite often. I hope to learn how to form paragraphs with correct punctuation, learn how to confidently write an essay, and perhaps maybe become a professional writer one day.

What I expect out of this class is to finally learn the correct way to type any form of writing whether it be an essay or report, to write it in a professional manner. I really can't remember a whole lot about English since it has been forever since I took it but I hope I remember enough to get me started. I am a little nervous about taking this class and I hope I do well.

I read over some of my books that will be used in this class and surprisingly i didn't understand one word they were saying. So hopefully Mrs. Aiken will have mercy on me. I know I'll have to pay extra close attention. She'll understand she has A.D.D. too! LoL I'm just joking but actually it's hard for me to write anything because I'll get started on a subject then jump to another so hopefully I will learn to focus on the subject, try to learn to get out what i need to say, and learn to stick to one thing at a time.

I will be honest I hate being told what to write about because I start everything I write about with an idea that I have brainstormed and then from there it is so much easier to write on. Lol so maybe next time I will have more to say.