the past is the past

The past is the past. Take chances, take risks, who knows where those broken roads lead you?Love hard,love loud and no matter what never regret anything in your life because at one point it was exactly what you wanted .Forgive and forget, don't hang onto anger its a weak emotion.Just smile and walk away believing in your heart that there is something way better for you that lies ahead. What you want might make you cry and what you need might pass you by.

life goes on

I am amazed by the last three years of my life. I have had several highs and lows. One minute I had it all the next minute I was on the verge of loosing everything. We go through things in life that we thought we would never experience people we loose people and some people we aren't ready to let go but we need to let them go. My motto" If he stupid enough to walk away, let him!" I found out recently how hard it is to let go. How hard it was to just let them walk away. I played tug of war with someone who I should have just let go of the rope and let him fall flat on his butt. Now I am with someone else and they are complete opposites. guess what you want might make you cry and what you need might pass you by if you don't catch it and what you need ironically well turn out what you want it to be if you just let it.Just when you think your doomed God comes and lifts you up to a safer, higher ground. No we may not understand but it is all apart of god's perfect plan.Life goes on!

the kite runner

I have after reading this book, become so proud that I am an American woman. The one sided standard that women suffer from in the Muslim religion is so sad. I am a widow and if I was in Afghanistan and my husband died I would be unable to support my three children. I cryed at the thought of how those poor women, under the control of the Taliban, suffer just because they were born the wrong gender. They watch as their children starve and casted away to poverty. The standards of which a woman is to carry herself I find unrealistic and cruel. Although in America there are a lot of prejudices to my gender here. I can walk out of my house with my face uncovered and I can earn a living. People look at me with three kids and the fact that I am single and automatically assume that I am a Jezebel.My husband died; I had no control over what happened and god knows i wish I did. I still get the look from people time to time. I couldn't imagine what those poor women face on a daily basis. They put man on a pedal stool which I think is just crazy. The reason this world is so messed up now is because of men.Its OK for a man to go out and screw everything that walks but if a woman has three kids and goes out to have a few drinks one night then omg she is the biggest piece of crap ever made. Its okay for a man to dump his kids off on visitation weekend with his mama and go out and party but if a woman does that oh now shes a bad mother. Women suffer period here, there, everywhere. We are brought up to act like ladies and clean and cook. We are taught to take care of everything and everyone. Its like we are all co-dependent. Then when a woman stands up for herself and steps out of that box and says "Hey I am not your maid" she is called a bitch. I call it being a woman.If we have more than one sexual partner then god forbid we are ruined and soiled. A man anyhow can do whatever he wants and they will say oh a man is weaker than a woman. Whatever men are weak cause they are taught to be kings and they can do no wrong. They loose their tempers and no one says anything to him but if a woman does then shes unruly. I was really disgusted by what i read about the Taliban and the Muslim religion.They all need Jesus seriously.women and men are equal in my gods eyes and that's the way it should be we are both created in his image.

thanksgiving

I am so ready to kick back with a big plate of dressing and enjoy my family. Mom always makes dressing and the sisters get together and make a feast. This will be the third year Shawn has been dead.I used to get up and cook all that food. I miss him during this time of year. I am thankful for the family I have but I sure do miss my husband. Its hard to be cheerful when you feel like something is missing. I am thankful for who and where i am today. I am thankful for my kids and I am thankful that he walked in and out of my life.So as the years go by and the holidays come and go I will always have bittersweet memories to reflection. That I am thankful for.

God give me strength

Being a single mom is rough!I just got a call from my child's school that she has had an accident! omg! I can't win for loosing. :( My children are my life but sometimes they make my life harder. They in return make life worth living and give me the strength to carry on. The good definitely out weighs the bad. So just a minor malfunction and the rest of the day should run smoothly I am praying. God give me strength.So when I have moments of trials I just pray. Like Jesus said when the disciples were in a middle of a storm"peace be still" the storm seized and the sun ca
me out again.

Aspartame research paper

Aspartame is one of the many controversial food additives approved by the FDA as safe for human consumption. Aspartame is an artificial sweetener that is marketed under several trade mark names such as: Equal, Nutra sweet, and Canderel. It can be found in many different foods and beverages sold world wide. You can even find this artificial sweetener in the condiment tray at restaurants. It is used daily by millions of Americans, some of which do not even know that this sweetener is poisoning their bodies.

Aspartame when digested breaks down into several different chemical components such as: aspartic acid, methanol, formic acid, and formaldehyde(The Aspartame Information Website).Once the sweetener is exposed to above 86 degrees Fahrenheit it chemically breaks down into formaldehyde. Formaldehyde is toxin that causes severe poisoning and is not something that the average, normal human being thinks of when they put this product on their food.

As stated by Mark Gold on his website “Aspartame......The Bad News” ten percent of aspartame is methanol which is a deadly poison. Methanol (wood alcohol) is a poisonous substance that some alcoholics consumed that caused them to become blind; in some cases it even resulted in death. The EPA States that “methanol is considered a cumulative poison due to the low rate of excretion once it is absorbed"("Sound and Fury"). When digested methanol’s chemical metamorphosis becomes formaldehyde and formic acid. They are both toxins and very dangerous with regular consumption.

The daily recommended amount of aspartame approved for daily human consumption approved by the FDA as given by Cory Brackett, is limited to a level of 7.8 mg/day(by the EPA). A beverage that contains aspartame, approximately one liter of diet soft drink, contains 56 mg. That is exactly 42.8 mg higher than the daily recommended values. Many regular consumers use on an average daily basis, approximately 250 mg/day("Sound and Fury") . That is 32 times the recommended limit!

Aspartame was discovered accidently in 1965, by a chemist named James Schaller("The Dorway to Discovery"). He accidently discovered the sweetener when he licked his finger, which was contaminated, and noticed that it was extremely sweet. The sweetener is 200 times sweeter than sugar in concentrations. The fact that a small amount is necessary to produce the sweetness desired the calorie intake is immeasurable. This then made it appear to be a reasonable additive to diet products to help aid with the calorie consumption.

He then presented the sweetener for safety testing administered by the U.S. Food and Drug administration (also known as the FDA). The FDA did not approve for the sweetened additive to be used for human consumption for many years. It appeared to be harmful to digest this chemical due to the effects it had presented in laboratory rats. Laboratory studies showed, when consumed by the rats, it caused cancer. Schaller would proceed with many failed attempts, to try to manipulate the FDA to approve the sweetener. Aspartame was studied by the (PBOI) Public Board of Inquiry to prove if it may or may not be linked to brain cancer and found that it appeared safe.

The FDA after several different trials and studies (showing the additive caused seizures and brain cancer in laboratory rats) finally approved the additive safe for use in dry goods. Ronald Regan, the new president, had taken office that same year and a new commissioner for the FDA was appointed. On the (“Sound and Fury")website created by Cory Brackett, he unfolds this scandal and reveals the truth behind aspartame’s approval. He discovered that Donald Rumsfeld, president of G.D. Searle Company (which is the manufacturer of the additive) appeared to be affiliated with Republican Party during the time of Regan’s campaign. There was substantial evidence that led to the conclusion that Searle persuaded Regan to resign the FDA commissioner that would not approve aspartame and hire the one that would.

Knowing all the diverse side effects that may be a hazardous result upon the American people, it was approved anyway. Rumsfeld was so determined to get this chemical approved he even informed his partners that”he would call all his makers and that he would see to it that aspartame was approved that year…” In one incident when questioned during a class action suit against the companies that produce the artificial sweetener, Jacquelle Verret, (the former senior scientist who was a member of the FDA’s Bureau of Foods Tasks Force) stated in her testimony” I do not feel that was done, based on what I have read in the GAO report that I have looked at and so forth. They definitely did not objectively evaluate these studies, and I really think it should have been thrown out from day one” ("Dorway to Discovery").The scandal behind the approval was backed by greed and power. I honestly believe this toxic sweet poison was approved with failed studies to prove it was safe for us and safe for our children to consume.

The first well known incident of aspartame poisoning appeared during the Desert Storm, gulf war. Large quantities of aspartame sweetened soda were shipped over to the troops fighting for our freedom and defending our country. The diet soda had been exposed to the heat levels (86 degrees) required for the methanol to transform into formaldehyde. A number of troops sadly returned home with mysterious conditions. Some of the conditions resembled many cases that had been reported earlier and appeared to have been diagnosed as formaldehyde poisoning.

Another complete voluntary laboratory research conducted by Inness –Brown, proved that once again there was no possible way that aspartame was a safe additive. Inness-Brown who obtained a master’s degree in math and a bachelor’s in nutrition, decided to conduct a series of laboratory tests from her home; hoping to convince her family to stop drinking so much Diet Pepsi. The study was preformed using the form of aspartame that is a house hold name and is also in Diet Pepsi as a sweetened additive, Nutra Sweet. She purchased eight rats from Pet Co, got them home and put them in cages, where they quickly reproduced into numbers of 100. She fed them Kaytee’s Supreme Fortified Daily Blend for rats and mice and gave then Nutra Sweet mixed in with their water. The results were amazing ten percent of the rats became ill, while forty five percent of the rats grew huge tumors. They appeared to be the size of golf balls. When her preliminary studies finally appeared on line, the website received more then 185,000 shocked viewers. She received emails stating that the people who had visited the website after seeing these horrifying photos of these poor animals. They vowed never to drink aspartame again. The website apparently had a major impact in the way they viewed the sweetener’s major effects on the human body and hopefully the word will get out. She plans on self publishing her one hundred page study.

A professor of Nutrition and Public Health from New York University read over her documentations. Marion Nestle replied”What does this all prove? Nothing definite. Still” he went on to say”it’s an astonishing thing to have done.”

The conditions of aspartame and/or formaldehyde poisoning vary in unbelievable proportions. During my own research just off the internet, I found over 92 different types of illnesses or side effects believed to be linked to this sweetened toxin. There is a vast range and I am only naming a few here Arthritis, Asthma, Diabetes, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Hyper tension are just to name a few of the many common diseases millions of Americans suffer with everyday of their life. The most common aspartame symptoms worsen and replicate a lot of neurological diseases such as: Fibromyalgia, Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, Lupus, Epilepsy, Alzheimer’s, and Lyme’s disease. Montel Williams, a daytime talk show host who suffers from multiple sclerosis has even been quoted stating: Multiple Sclerosis is often misdiagnosed, and that it could be aspartame poisoning…”As stated by Lendon Smith, a medical doctor, ‘there is an enormous population suffering from side effects associated with aspartame, yet have no idea why drugs, supplements, and herbs don’t relieve their symptoms.”

Janet Starr Hull was diagnosed with a mysterious disease called “Graves Disease”, which is a fatal thyroid disease that has no cure. She had previously obtained a doctorate in nutrition and a master’s degree in Environmental Science. She explains on her website “Sweet Poison” how she at the time of her illness, had consumed aspartame products. She claims that she cured herself by halting the use of these products and no longer suffers from the disease at all. She discovered that she had all the signs from her own research, of aspartame poisoning along with the symptoms of “Graves Disease”. Now she was able to help people with the same problems she had faced. She was ready to make the public aware of the truth about the toxin and what kind of effects it can have on your body. In 1992 it appeared that four lives were claimed as a result of aspartame use. There is no actual way to tell how many more have been liked to aspartame. She also explains that 8 out of ten of her clients’ symptoms mysteriously disappear when they stop using aspartame based products. She has a ten step program available for the public to view on her web page on how to detoxify you from aspartame.

Aspartame is not prejudice against the young either; it also has an effect on our children as well. We believe as good parents that our children should not be exposed to poor diets. We all know that corn syrup is not healthy for anyone’s consumption. We try to remove those kinds of unhealthy fattening additives away from our children’s diets by introducing them to sugar-free juices and food products. I have found out through my research that my children would probably be better off if I just give them the corn syrup.

Aspartame appears safely in a lot of different children’s products. It is used in children’s vitamins, Pedialyte, sugar free Jell-O and sugar free puddings. We feel confident administering these aspartame treats to our children thinking that we may be saving their life’s from obesity and other health problems that are associated with a corn syrup diet.

Reading on down her website was a story about a little three year old named Katrina. Her parents consumed diet soft drinks and fed her foods that contained aspartame. Her mother even consumed these products while she was pregnant, even with an okay from her doctor. On Katrina’s third year check up her mother informed her doctor that the little girl had been complaining about an earache. She was given an antibiotic and sent home. Her mother became very concerned when the child’s earache worsened two days later. Katrina then began to complain over a tummy ache that lasted over eight weeks. She started experiencing loose stools along with the tummy aches that began to bother her daily. Her mother started noticing that her child appeared to have vision problems and was a little clumsier than other children. She seemed a little hyperactive at times and her speech appeared to be slurred. She was finally referred to a neurologist by her pediatrician to investigate what was causing her to have such strange problems.

Then the most horrifying thing happened to Katrina her ear infection got worse. She began to get sick and in the mean time she would sip on diet soda to ease her belly. She was given antibiotics and Tylenol with codeine from her doctor. She became lethargic, unable to eat, and unable to sleep. The parents decided it was best to return to the doctor’s office the next morning.

When they awoke the next day, they noticed that Katrina slept later than usual. Her mother decided that since she was so sick it was best to let her sleep. Her mother went to her bedside to check on her and found the child unconscious in a comatose state. They immediately contacted 911 for medical help.

When the ambulance arrived they found that Katrina’s whole left side of her body was paralyzed. No one had an explanation what was wrong with her and what had caused such a terrible effect. She had a seizure while being transported to the hospital in the ambulance.

When they arrived at the hospital’ they preformed numerous tests. None of the tests or the doctors could find anything and had no clue that would help to diagnose what was going on with her. She was then transferred to Riley children’s hospital at Indiana University. She was in ICU for two weeks on life support and remained in there for a total of four weeks. She had several epileptic seizures while in ICU which caused the medical staff to put her into a Pentobarbital coma to help aid the seizures off. Failure to gain control of the seizures would have possibly caused brain damage or even death. Unsure whether heir child was going to live, they had no diagnosis to give any clues to prevent this from happening again. She finally made progress and her doctor persuaded to keep her on anitculvisants just to be on the safe side. She received almost 300,000 dollars in health care expenses that left them with no answers and no solutions.

The family moved to Dallas, Texas where a friend informed her with information on aspartame poisoning. Her parents were shocked to find that finally they linked together something doctors could not explain. The aspartame poisoning had been a result of daily vitamins that contained aspartame. Her mother took the vitamins away and her symptoms disappeared amazingly. Katrina still suffers from the damages done by irreversible effects of aspartame, but now at least they know what caused it. I would have never imagined that a simple children’s vitamin could have such a life altering experience on a child. The sweetener the FDA deemed safe has a bad reputation for being silent, sweet, and deadly.

In the article posted on William Campbell Douglas’s website “Escape the Aspartame trap”, he states: “The massive introduction of the neurotoxin into the food supply is nothing less then biological warfare against every single one of us and the only acceptable conclusion is to ban it from the food chain.” I couldn’t agree more after reading the horror stories from the innocent victims of food politics. The FDA did not want to approve aspartame it took sixteen years. It took one greedy man driven by the desire to make some money at the expense of other peoples health. They haven’t legalized suicide but they make it legal for them to kill you.

Dr.Adrian Gross, the toxicologist for the FDA, states “without a shadow of a doubt, aspartame can cause brain tumors and brain cancer…. ‘. The law called the” Delaney cause” states that it is illegal to submit people to a substance that causes cancer in experimental animals. Instead of making the public aware of the dangers with the use of this toxic substance they stamped it with the GRAS qualification (“Generally Regarded as Safe).

Doctors have wondered for years why there has been such a significant rise in neurological diseases. Well, when 66 percent of adults and 40 percent of children are consuming this deadly toxin there has to be a rise in a whole lot of nerve related diseases. Although aspartame clings to all sorts of cell types, its favorite appears to be the cells of the central and peripheral nervous systems. There are nerve cells all over your body which means that aspartame can damage your whole body from head to toe. This can cause a series of different diseases and side effects.

The reason we don’t hear this information all over the media or in your local health pamphlets at your doctor’s office is simply because they are being paid to keep it quiet. The food industry is a huge money making market and if a word of this leaked out, well to be honest, they would loose money. Would you go out and buy a product that’s had facts posted every where saying that is caused 92 different diseases and complicated other ones? I have to honestly say I think not. Just proving that aspartame is not safe for human consumption it never was to begin with. Money and politics are the links to hide the truth about this deadly toxin this deadly toxin. Now, do you think aspartame is as safe as they claim it to be? You tell me.

trying to maintain

Wow!, mom always told me " life doesn't get any better, you just get better at coping with it." I love this time of year, but it is hard when your alone. I am tired of being alone. I have a lot on my plate and not enough room to stomach it so I brush what I can't eat aside and I feel wasteful.I need some relief so I am praying for a miracle. Life is like a mirror, it's a reflection of how you see yourself. I see myself sucessful and independent. I also see myself as alone. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I guess I need to reflect on why I am here and what got me here.