What is My problem?

I am not complaining about anything in my life. I know I am truly blessed and have a lot more than other people. I have three wonderful children who are healthy and outgoing. I have the house, the privacy fence, and the nice soccer mom hot rod. I have it all needles to say. Are we ever satisfied with what we have. I think I spend to much time emphasizing what I don't have, that I sometimes forget what I do have. I think I want so much, so fast that I take the little things for granted.

I guess you can call me a pessimistic. I don't know what happened to me because I used to be a totally different person. I think so much negative stuff happened in my life, in such a short period of time, I lost track of what was really important. I have just piddled away day after day. I ponder on things that really don't matter. Bills are going to come in whether I like it or not. There will be dirty dishes in the sink and clothes to wash for the rest of my life.

I noticed this morning, that my children wake up with smiles, not even caring what is going to come there way. They just get up and face it. I walk around the house like a chicken with my head cut off with a bad case of O.C.D. I fuss about stupid stuff that can wait till later. So there I am sucking the joy out of our early morning routine like a leech. I wish I could just sit back and relax. I really want to learn to enjoy these next few years with them because this is it. Soon they will all be grown up and raising their own families. I want to teach them to slow down and enjoy every minute of their lives because we are not promised tomorrow.

On my way to school this morning, I felt like slapping my self. What is my problem? I really have nothing to complain about! I am so blessed and need to start focusing on someone else besides myself. I hope they can see past my short comings and learn to avoid becoming a miserable adult.

I used to be such a fun person. I used to take time to smell the roses and enjoy the scenery on the detours. I am turning into my mother and I can't do that! I know have to be responsible now and in control but do I have to really just fall into that pit of no return. No joy, no fun , and no relaxation. I know I have got to stop this now. I do not want to conform into to the life I have tried so hard to avoid. I am going to stop and think from now on about, what is really important, what is really worth getting upset about. Like Obama said " It's time for a change!".

I want to teach my girls to be happy no matter what and when life gives you lemons make lemon aide.