Tuesday, September 29, 2009
not me
I have discovered that my children have a friend, whom I have never met, that practically lives at our house! I don't know what gender this person is. I don't even know where they came from or where they live. All I know is this person's name is Not Me. Not Me is a very distructive little person. I can go around my house at any given time through out the day and find a trail of this person's distruction. When I ask my children why there is a huge mess all over the house. They all reply "Not Me!". I really do wish I could find this person and scold them. I really don't want this person at my house. My children do such a great job of making them leave before I come around to assess the damage Not Me has made. I wish I knew who Not ME's parents were, they owe me a lot of money for repairs! Not me wripped wall paper off my kitchen wall. Not Me has tore the towel rack off my bathroom wall. I don't even know Not Me, but i already think this person is a bad influence on my children. I will find out who not me is and this will be handled. I guess until then Not Me will sneak around me because I think they know I am out to get to them. This may be in their best interest because me finding them could be hazardous to their health. LOL I have told my children that he isn ot allowed to come play at our house anymore. They look at me like I am crazy. This person is about to make me crazy!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Example essay
Cassandra Hayes
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1101 Example Paper
September 22, 2009
Poisoned by Fairy Tales
There they sit with gleam, beaming in their eyes, with their heads mounted on their fists. They appear as if they are in a trance. Absorbing all the words, flowing from my mouth, like little sponges. Their little innocent minds are being corrupted by these non- fictional stories we call fairy tales. I remember being their age and my mom reading me these stories. I would sit, just as they are, and day dream about my own fairy tale and how it would end. I dreamt I was a beautiful young, maiden who was imprisoned by life hardships. The answer to all my problems would arrive in shining armor and rescue me. I planned out my whole happily ever after.
The maiden portrayed in the story, is usually young, fair, and locked away in a tower of doom. She is being held captive by an evil tyrant who is jealous of her beauty. Her passive personality is disguised by sweetness and innocence. She appears to be helpless and totally powerless to defend herself from her adversary. Even though she has been through some rough places in her life, she appears to not be bitter. She is also an inexperienced virgin, who has lived a very sheltered life. We as women have embedded this unrealistic concept in our minds that we are to be unflawed and unscarred. Women are to appear to be soft and gentle. They are to appear to be innocent and kind- hearted, no matter what circumstances in life they have faced. This standard has been set up for us by society. Anything less than this standard is unacceptable.
I always had this feeling that I wasn’t good enough. I was a tom boy growing up. I didn’t care to play with dolls and make up. My hair wasn’t long and silky, I kept it short. I never fit the criteria of the fairy tale princess. I wondered if my ‘Prince Charming’ would ever come to my rescue. I think now that I am older; he must have put the wrong address in his navigation system. Just like a typical man always late.
I can’t help but point out the fact as well, that ‘Prince Charming’ isn’t the average typical male. He is portrayed in the story books as a fair young man. He has no cares burdening him. He is running free, like a wild horse. He meets the lovely young maiden and instantly he has fallen in love. He longs to sweep her off her feet and carry her away to his castle. He is a brave knight in shining armor that will battle any thing that stands in the way of her love. He arrives on his valiant steed, pulls out his golden sword, and races up the tower to save her from her suffering. He loves her; there can be no one else for him. He sound so terrific, almost dream like. We as young women and young men set this image as well in our mind. I have come to find in my own experience with the opposite sex, that men are like predators searching for prey with a short lived victory. We have this concept that they are to appear as strong, tall, dark, and handsome. They are to be the woman’s savior, the provider, and the king of the castle. They are to be worshiped and treated like royalty. This standard we set for men is also their down fall. If a man, by society standards, is jobless or unable to support his family, then he is unworthy. He has to be the strong minded, brave warrior who doesn’t blink an eye in the face of trouble. Some men even believe that a man should even cry. They feel inferior if a woman makes more money then them. They are to be in complete control of all situations at all times. Women are to be needy and humbled by what they do for us. Women are to respect their authority and recognize them as the so called “Prince Charming’ who has come to rescue us. Well my prince didn’t show up on valiant steed. He showed up in a beat up older model Nissan truck, but it was white. He didn’t sweep me off my feet and carry me to a beautiful castle far away; instead he carried me to a trailer parked right in his parents’ yard. It was good enough for me; he never thought that was enough. I hate that he could never see past all that he accomplished at such a young age. These unrealistic story book characters had corrupted his mind as well.
We have all been poisoned by fairy tales. We somehow believe these illusions dissipated in these stories are things that happen in real life. Like the witch in disguise that hands the fair maiden the poisoned apple. We have been poisoned by books, disguised as innocent children’s fairy tales, and we have eaten the words. These books set unrealistic standards of how women and men are to be portrayed. No wonder we there are so many failed relationships and marriages. These images always haunt us in the back of our mind leading to utter disappointment. We feel as if we lack something that is required to achieve our happily ever after. We feel like complete failures when were struggling week to week to pay bills. I wonder if Cinderella ever caught her husband at a bar with another woman or if Snow White ever had an extra marital affair with one of the seven dwarfs. That’s the reality that is so selfishly hidden from us as children. The truth is we have all been deceived. We have all been poisoned by that apple.
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1101 Example Paper
September 22, 2009
Poisoned by Fairy Tales
There they sit with gleam, beaming in their eyes, with their heads mounted on their fists. They appear as if they are in a trance. Absorbing all the words, flowing from my mouth, like little sponges. Their little innocent minds are being corrupted by these non- fictional stories we call fairy tales. I remember being their age and my mom reading me these stories. I would sit, just as they are, and day dream about my own fairy tale and how it would end. I dreamt I was a beautiful young, maiden who was imprisoned by life hardships. The answer to all my problems would arrive in shining armor and rescue me. I planned out my whole happily ever after.
The maiden portrayed in the story, is usually young, fair, and locked away in a tower of doom. She is being held captive by an evil tyrant who is jealous of her beauty. Her passive personality is disguised by sweetness and innocence. She appears to be helpless and totally powerless to defend herself from her adversary. Even though she has been through some rough places in her life, she appears to not be bitter. She is also an inexperienced virgin, who has lived a very sheltered life. We as women have embedded this unrealistic concept in our minds that we are to be unflawed and unscarred. Women are to appear to be soft and gentle. They are to appear to be innocent and kind- hearted, no matter what circumstances in life they have faced. This standard has been set up for us by society. Anything less than this standard is unacceptable.
I always had this feeling that I wasn’t good enough. I was a tom boy growing up. I didn’t care to play with dolls and make up. My hair wasn’t long and silky, I kept it short. I never fit the criteria of the fairy tale princess. I wondered if my ‘Prince Charming’ would ever come to my rescue. I think now that I am older; he must have put the wrong address in his navigation system. Just like a typical man always late.
I can’t help but point out the fact as well, that ‘Prince Charming’ isn’t the average typical male. He is portrayed in the story books as a fair young man. He has no cares burdening him. He is running free, like a wild horse. He meets the lovely young maiden and instantly he has fallen in love. He longs to sweep her off her feet and carry her away to his castle. He is a brave knight in shining armor that will battle any thing that stands in the way of her love. He arrives on his valiant steed, pulls out his golden sword, and races up the tower to save her from her suffering. He loves her; there can be no one else for him. He sound so terrific, almost dream like. We as young women and young men set this image as well in our mind. I have come to find in my own experience with the opposite sex, that men are like predators searching for prey with a short lived victory. We have this concept that they are to appear as strong, tall, dark, and handsome. They are to be the woman’s savior, the provider, and the king of the castle. They are to be worshiped and treated like royalty. This standard we set for men is also their down fall. If a man, by society standards, is jobless or unable to support his family, then he is unworthy. He has to be the strong minded, brave warrior who doesn’t blink an eye in the face of trouble. Some men even believe that a man should even cry. They feel inferior if a woman makes more money then them. They are to be in complete control of all situations at all times. Women are to be needy and humbled by what they do for us. Women are to respect their authority and recognize them as the so called “Prince Charming’ who has come to rescue us. Well my prince didn’t show up on valiant steed. He showed up in a beat up older model Nissan truck, but it was white. He didn’t sweep me off my feet and carry me to a beautiful castle far away; instead he carried me to a trailer parked right in his parents’ yard. It was good enough for me; he never thought that was enough. I hate that he could never see past all that he accomplished at such a young age. These unrealistic story book characters had corrupted his mind as well.
We have all been poisoned by fairy tales. We somehow believe these illusions dissipated in these stories are things that happen in real life. Like the witch in disguise that hands the fair maiden the poisoned apple. We have been poisoned by books, disguised as innocent children’s fairy tales, and we have eaten the words. These books set unrealistic standards of how women and men are to be portrayed. No wonder we there are so many failed relationships and marriages. These images always haunt us in the back of our mind leading to utter disappointment. We feel as if we lack something that is required to achieve our happily ever after. We feel like complete failures when were struggling week to week to pay bills. I wonder if Cinderella ever caught her husband at a bar with another woman or if Snow White ever had an extra marital affair with one of the seven dwarfs. That’s the reality that is so selfishly hidden from us as children. The truth is we have all been deceived. We have all been poisoned by that apple.
I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired!
Okay, so I get a call to come and get my four year old from school Thursday. I go pick her up thinking she has a little cold. I rush her home and administer her some cough syrup and she falls asleep. Later on that night that little cold became a demon. UGHHH i realized she had the flu. It spread like wildfire, so from Thursday night of last week till today which is Tuesday my whole family has been sick. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired! My poor babies are coughing constantly and I am coughing up things I wonder if I should name. seriously, something has got to give. We can't even eat a decent meal. I got in the kitchen, as sick as I have been, and proceeded to cook them a four course meal. They couldn't even stomach the aroma coming from the kitchen! poor babies! I am hoping and prying that we all get better. We don't have the swine flu. We have what I call the winey flu cuz it makes you winey . lol
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Single is rough
I have three children who are sick.:( I haven't gotten hardly any sleep but needless to say I am here. Its rough to be a single mom with three children under ten. I laugh when I go to the grocery store and old people see me and say " You sure have your hands full". I just smile and reply " I would rather have them full and then empty". It has been , being a single mom, one of the hardest challenges I have ever had to face. I have to pay all the bills, buy groceries, make sure homework is done, and make sure we all have clean clothes. I do it though by the grace of God. I do plan on meeting someone and possibly getting remarried but, I am so picky. I don't know if I'll ever meet anyone who can live up to my high expectations. i think my children deserve the best and that's what I want them to have. I will except no less than that. For now the grass and the oil changes fall under a long "Cassie" do-list but I will manage. I have come this far on my own and been in tighter situations. I really have nothing to complain about I am truly blessed.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
My biggest challenge
Okay, so i like to talk. I love to overuse words and I know I have a big problem with gliding off subject. When I first sat down and stared at that blank piece of paper it was as blank as my brain. I jotted down a few ideas. It took me two days to decide from the ten I had which one to use. I chose the morning of my first day of college simply because it was the freshest thing to my mind.
I remember crying while writing it thinking back to that day. I sat down and just poured my heart out. I was very nervous that the subject I had picked wouldn't be catchy enough. I imagine I reread that paper a hundred times before I decided to stick with it.
My main concern about the whole paper was punctuation. It has been eleven years since I have been in high school and I had to pull out that handbook a thousand times. I must have went through every sentence and scratched out a mistake.
When i sit down to write,to me, its kinda like I am having a conversation with a piece of paper. I just write and write whatever comes into my head, just like I do when I talk. So, you could imagine, it went from six pages to, when I typed it, to just two. I had so many sentences scratched out it wasn't even funny. All and all though I think I did a good job. Hopefully, the next essay I have will be even better.
I remember crying while writing it thinking back to that day. I sat down and just poured my heart out. I was very nervous that the subject I had picked wouldn't be catchy enough. I imagine I reread that paper a hundred times before I decided to stick with it.
My main concern about the whole paper was punctuation. It has been eleven years since I have been in high school and I had to pull out that handbook a thousand times. I must have went through every sentence and scratched out a mistake.
When i sit down to write,to me, its kinda like I am having a conversation with a piece of paper. I just write and write whatever comes into my head, just like I do when I talk. So, you could imagine, it went from six pages to, when I typed it, to just two. I had so many sentences scratched out it wasn't even funny. All and all though I think I did a good job. Hopefully, the next essay I have will be even better.
September 11, 2001
I volunteered to accompany my daughter to a remembrance walk on Friday, September eleventh. I explained to my children that we were to be silent during the walk to honor those who lost their lives that very tragic day. I can remember that day very well. I was awaken to my neighbor banging on my door yelling "Cassie, Wake up and turn on the news!" in a very frightening shriek, she said " The United States is under a terrorist attack!" I remember jumping out of bed, running down the hall, and panicking as I saw the second plane hit the the Twin Tower.
It was an experience I will never forget. I think back and it stills brings tears to my eyes. In my lifetime I have experienced something as horrible as the forty's generation ,"Pearl Harbor". What bothers me the most is my children wondering why we we're even doing this ceremony and what's the point. It flipped me out! How could I let them just walk around and not know what we're doing this for. I immediately turned on the computer and made them watch the videos. They sat silently, and watched with wide teary eyes, just as I had done eight years before. They had a million questions as they watched people jumping for their lives while the buildings burned. When the buildings fell to the ground they gasped as they watched because they knew there were people inside. I let them listen to the 911 calls from the victims before the buildings fell. When we had finished the last video they finally understood why this ceremony was taking place and how important it was to honor those who gave up their lives trying to help the victims as well as those who were trapped due to the fires. We stood outside the flag that morning silently. My children had their eyes on the flag like it was a Sponge bob cartoon they had never seen. Now, they know what September 11 was all about. I am proud i had the opportunity to explain this to them. It will make the day so much more meaningful then just a walk around their school with pretty red, white, and blue doors.
It was an experience I will never forget. I think back and it stills brings tears to my eyes. In my lifetime I have experienced something as horrible as the forty's generation ,"Pearl Harbor". What bothers me the most is my children wondering why we we're even doing this ceremony and what's the point. It flipped me out! How could I let them just walk around and not know what we're doing this for. I immediately turned on the computer and made them watch the videos. They sat silently, and watched with wide teary eyes, just as I had done eight years before. They had a million questions as they watched people jumping for their lives while the buildings burned. When the buildings fell to the ground they gasped as they watched because they knew there were people inside. I let them listen to the 911 calls from the victims before the buildings fell. When we had finished the last video they finally understood why this ceremony was taking place and how important it was to honor those who gave up their lives trying to help the victims as well as those who were trapped due to the fires. We stood outside the flag that morning silently. My children had their eyes on the flag like it was a Sponge bob cartoon they had never seen. Now, they know what September 11 was all about. I am proud i had the opportunity to explain this to them. It will make the day so much more meaningful then just a walk around their school with pretty red, white, and blue doors.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Life is Too Short for Long-Term Mistakes
I am single have been now for three years. No, it is not what I want but, I think for now it is what I need. I don't really have time to get romantically involved with anyone. I have three kids who have homework on top of my homework. I really don't think I have the time or the patience to deal with anything else. I have a very routine life, I get up at six and go to bed by ten. I am comfortable with being by myself. I really don't want to drag anyone into my children's lives for them to get attached to. I have been there and done that got the t- shirt and the tote bag.(In case you want to borrow them.) LOL I really just want to meet the one! I am waiting on GOD and I am trying to figure out what I want. Accidents happen when your into big of a hurry to do absolutely nothing. That's my philosophy on life. Just slow down and enjoy the ride. It is what it is. When the time arrives, I will just know it.:) So, for now I am on a little detour and enjoying the scenery.:)
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
What is My problem?
I am not complaining about anything in my life. I know I am truly blessed and have a lot more than other people. I have three wonderful children who are healthy and outgoing. I have the house, the privacy fence, and the nice soccer mom hot rod. I have it all needles to say. Are we ever satisfied with what we have. I think I spend to much time emphasizing what I don't have, that I sometimes forget what I do have. I think I want so much, so fast that I take the little things for granted.
I guess you can call me a pessimistic. I don't know what happened to me because I used to be a totally different person. I think so much negative stuff happened in my life, in such a short period of time, I lost track of what was really important. I have just piddled away day after day. I ponder on things that really don't matter. Bills are going to come in whether I like it or not. There will be dirty dishes in the sink and clothes to wash for the rest of my life.
I noticed this morning, that my children wake up with smiles, not even caring what is going to come there way. They just get up and face it. I walk around the house like a chicken with my head cut off with a bad case of O.C.D. I fuss about stupid stuff that can wait till later. So there I am sucking the joy out of our early morning routine like a leech. I wish I could just sit back and relax. I really want to learn to enjoy these next few years with them because this is it. Soon they will all be grown up and raising their own families. I want to teach them to slow down and enjoy every minute of their lives because we are not promised tomorrow.
On my way to school this morning, I felt like slapping my self. What is my problem? I really have nothing to complain about! I am so blessed and need to start focusing on someone else besides myself. I hope they can see past my short comings and learn to avoid becoming a miserable adult.
I used to be such a fun person. I used to take time to smell the roses and enjoy the scenery on the detours. I am turning into my mother and I can't do that! I know have to be responsible now and in control but do I have to really just fall into that pit of no return. No joy, no fun , and no relaxation. I know I have got to stop this now. I do not want to conform into to the life I have tried so hard to avoid. I am going to stop and think from now on about, what is really important, what is really worth getting upset about. Like Obama said " It's time for a change!".
I want to teach my girls to be happy no matter what and when life gives you lemons make lemon aide.
I guess you can call me a pessimistic. I don't know what happened to me because I used to be a totally different person. I think so much negative stuff happened in my life, in such a short period of time, I lost track of what was really important. I have just piddled away day after day. I ponder on things that really don't matter. Bills are going to come in whether I like it or not. There will be dirty dishes in the sink and clothes to wash for the rest of my life.
I noticed this morning, that my children wake up with smiles, not even caring what is going to come there way. They just get up and face it. I walk around the house like a chicken with my head cut off with a bad case of O.C.D. I fuss about stupid stuff that can wait till later. So there I am sucking the joy out of our early morning routine like a leech. I wish I could just sit back and relax. I really want to learn to enjoy these next few years with them because this is it. Soon they will all be grown up and raising their own families. I want to teach them to slow down and enjoy every minute of their lives because we are not promised tomorrow.
On my way to school this morning, I felt like slapping my self. What is my problem? I really have nothing to complain about! I am so blessed and need to start focusing on someone else besides myself. I hope they can see past my short comings and learn to avoid becoming a miserable adult.
I used to be such a fun person. I used to take time to smell the roses and enjoy the scenery on the detours. I am turning into my mother and I can't do that! I know have to be responsible now and in control but do I have to really just fall into that pit of no return. No joy, no fun , and no relaxation. I know I have got to stop this now. I do not want to conform into to the life I have tried so hard to avoid. I am going to stop and think from now on about, what is really important, what is really worth getting upset about. Like Obama said " It's time for a change!".
I want to teach my girls to be happy no matter what and when life gives you lemons make lemon aide.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
What a week!
Man, what a week I have had! I am still learning how to adjust to the changes that took place this past month. OK, getting up early and getting dressed out of my bed clothes, not my thing! For the past three years I have sat on my butt. Now I have to get up and get four people out the door. I have a annoying cat; whom for some reason has to fed every morning, lol poor thing.Why should he be fed every morning the nerve of him! Then there's the little angels i have who run around screaming "Mom!" So and so has my belt!" I am about ready to duck tape their clothes to them! OMG! What is wrong with them? It takes all I have to keep patient. I come to school with a gazillion things running through my head. Its an endless cycle of a honey do list but it's mine! UGHHHHHH!
The Morning of My First Day of College
Cassandra Hayes
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1101
September 2, 2009
The Morning of My First Day of College
At five o’clock a.m. my eyes popped open like someone had clapped their hands dead in my face, almost like I was under hypnosis. I didn’t need the alarm clock like I thought I would. I lay in my bed and stared at the digital clock beside me watching the numbers change in anticipation for six o’clock to arrive. I lay in my bed figuring out how to advise the days upcoming events.
Over the past three years I have waited for this day to come. Here it was the day I started to build that bridge into my future. I thought about how I had taken the previous years for granted.
I am a widow at the age of twenty-seven. My husband died three years ago. I decide to stay at home and care for our two youngest children, Leara and Savanna. This past year Leara has turned four and Savanna has turned five. I cried at the thought that they were no longer my babies. Now they were on their way into the world that I had sheltered them from. They were starting their journeys to becoming productive members of society. Training to be Uncle Sam’s little taxpaying slaves! Their freedom of the castle and its amenities had been traded for a desk and books aligning four walls. No longer would they be the princesses of the castle and be treated like royalty. Instead they traded their crowns for purple book bags and their gowns and glass slippers for uniforms and tennis shoes.
The King had fallen and was gone. The Queen had let his legacy live on through his children. Our little fantasy world had come to an end. Now we are all slaves to the clock. It tells us when to wake up and when to sleep. It pressures us into changing the careless lives we once knew into boot camps of training not only the girls to be responsible, but for me as well.
So as the alarm clock sounded out its trumpet. I knew it was time to gather the soldiers in training to prepare for the day of battle.
I pulled away from the school my children attended on the way to mine. I cried at the thought of how our lives were changing. As with any change, “No pain, no gain.” I knew it had to be done. I knew this from the beginning and I’m grateful for the time I had watching them grow from babies into little children.
As I headed into that world I had forgotten about. I was afraid. I guess it’s human nature to fear the unknown. I hope that I taught my children how to adapt, to open their minds to new things and to eagerly explore their new world.
This is a big change for all of us, but we have already experienced a lot of other life changing events and survived. I think that we will all be okay.
I pulled into the parking lot found a decent parking spot. I wondered how I was going to find my first class. Then I thought, if my four and five year old can survive their first day of school, so can I. Then, I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car.
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1101
September 2, 2009
The Morning of My First Day of College
At five o’clock a.m. my eyes popped open like someone had clapped their hands dead in my face, almost like I was under hypnosis. I didn’t need the alarm clock like I thought I would. I lay in my bed and stared at the digital clock beside me watching the numbers change in anticipation for six o’clock to arrive. I lay in my bed figuring out how to advise the days upcoming events.
Over the past three years I have waited for this day to come. Here it was the day I started to build that bridge into my future. I thought about how I had taken the previous years for granted.
I am a widow at the age of twenty-seven. My husband died three years ago. I decide to stay at home and care for our two youngest children, Leara and Savanna. This past year Leara has turned four and Savanna has turned five. I cried at the thought that they were no longer my babies. Now they were on their way into the world that I had sheltered them from. They were starting their journeys to becoming productive members of society. Training to be Uncle Sam’s little taxpaying slaves! Their freedom of the castle and its amenities had been traded for a desk and books aligning four walls. No longer would they be the princesses of the castle and be treated like royalty. Instead they traded their crowns for purple book bags and their gowns and glass slippers for uniforms and tennis shoes.
The King had fallen and was gone. The Queen had let his legacy live on through his children. Our little fantasy world had come to an end. Now we are all slaves to the clock. It tells us when to wake up and when to sleep. It pressures us into changing the careless lives we once knew into boot camps of training not only the girls to be responsible, but for me as well.
So as the alarm clock sounded out its trumpet. I knew it was time to gather the soldiers in training to prepare for the day of battle.
I pulled away from the school my children attended on the way to mine. I cried at the thought of how our lives were changing. As with any change, “No pain, no gain.” I knew it had to be done. I knew this from the beginning and I’m grateful for the time I had watching them grow from babies into little children.
As I headed into that world I had forgotten about. I was afraid. I guess it’s human nature to fear the unknown. I hope that I taught my children how to adapt, to open their minds to new things and to eagerly explore their new world.
This is a big change for all of us, but we have already experienced a lot of other life changing events and survived. I think that we will all be okay.
I pulled into the parking lot found a decent parking spot. I wondered how I was going to find my first class. Then I thought, if my four and five year old can survive their first day of school, so can I. Then, I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
My first time driving to atlanta by myself
My First Time Driving to Atlanta by Myself
I pulled out of the driveway around four o’clock that morning with a cup of coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other. I was a little nervous because for one I had never driven to Atlanta by myself and two I was trying out for American Idol. To make matters even more nerve racking, the weather did not look to promising. The sky was lit up with bolts of lightning like a knife cutting through the clouds. The thunder sounded like someone was beating on a sheet of metal over and over again. I hate driving in rainy conditions to begin with and I definitely did not want to be driving through them on that long trip to Atlanta. I remember I was shaking so hard that my foot was lifting off the gas pedal. There were only a few drops of rain on my windshield, me being the phobic that I am, I was about to have an anxiety attack. I wanted to pull over and just wait it out. I called my mother and asked her to pray for protection and I even tried to beseech it like it was some kind of demon. Thank god no one was in the car with me. They would have had a good laugh at my expense. I hadn’t even made it to the audition yet. That was the moment to be having a nervous breakdown not on the road. I finally pulled it together and for the rest of the drive from Macon to the outskirts of Atlanta there was not one drop of rain. I should have known with my luck. As soon as I saw the first exit in Atlanta, I was rejoicing in my car like a crazy woman, like I had just won a race. I called my mom so proud “Hey! I made it!” I drove to Atlanta all by myself. I sat back in my seat pleased that I had made such a big accomplishment. Then, the unthinkable happened. After two hours of driving, not one drop of rain, the bottom falls out. Here I am fifteen minutes to that golden ticket to fame and fortune. At last, I was going to get my chance to sing my heart out in front the American Idol judges. A severe thunderstorm has to come through downtown Atlanta and take what little bit of sanity I had left. It was no ordinary storm. I never see truck drivers pull over. Needless to say they were pulled off to the left and right in emergency lanes because they could even see. The rain drops were so big and heavy hitting my windshield you would have thought someone had found a water balloon propeller and decided to attack me.
I pulled out of the driveway around four o’clock that morning with a cup of coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other. I was a little nervous because for one I had never driven to Atlanta by myself and two I was trying out for American Idol. To make matters even more nerve racking, the weather did not look to promising. The sky was lit up with bolts of lightning like a knife cutting through the clouds. The thunder sounded like someone was beating on a sheet of metal over and over again. I hate driving in rainy conditions to begin with and I definitely did not want to be driving through them on that long trip to Atlanta. I remember I was shaking so hard that my foot was lifting off the gas pedal. There were only a few drops of rain on my windshield, me being the phobic that I am, I was about to have an anxiety attack. I wanted to pull over and just wait it out. I called my mother and asked her to pray for protection and I even tried to beseech it like it was some kind of demon. Thank god no one was in the car with me. They would have had a good laugh at my expense. I hadn’t even made it to the audition yet. That was the moment to be having a nervous breakdown not on the road. I finally pulled it together and for the rest of the drive from Macon to the outskirts of Atlanta there was not one drop of rain. I should have known with my luck. As soon as I saw the first exit in Atlanta, I was rejoicing in my car like a crazy woman, like I had just won a race. I called my mom so proud “Hey! I made it!” I drove to Atlanta all by myself. I sat back in my seat pleased that I had made such a big accomplishment. Then, the unthinkable happened. After two hours of driving, not one drop of rain, the bottom falls out. Here I am fifteen minutes to that golden ticket to fame and fortune. At last, I was going to get my chance to sing my heart out in front the American Idol judges. A severe thunderstorm has to come through downtown Atlanta and take what little bit of sanity I had left. It was no ordinary storm. I never see truck drivers pull over. Needless to say they were pulled off to the left and right in emergency lanes because they could even see. The rain drops were so big and heavy hitting my windshield you would have thought someone had found a water balloon propeller and decided to attack me.
Little blessings in diguise
Okay, so I have been through so much the last five years. I don't know why I have had a series of unfortunate events happen in my life but, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! At least i would love to believe that. My husband was murdered about three years ago and that left me a single mom with three kids at the age of twenty three. Then, I thought I had met the man of my dreams and he turned into the man of my nightmares. For about the past eight months I have sat around and thought about what I did to deserve this. It finally came to me be thankful for all the little blessings disguised as pain. My husband dying taught me to not take people for granted. I had to learn to take on a load that I never imagined I could handle. At first, it was very hard being alone but, now I look back and I am so proud of myself for what I have accomplished on my own and by the grace of God. I am pretty much self sufficient. If something happens I can take care of it. Now looking back to loosing my ex. I am thankful for that because I didn't see at the time but i deserve so much better than what he had to offer me. Now things happen we can't quite understand but I try to remember it is all apart of God's perfect plan. I have gotten closer to God and realized that all i have to do is depend on him and nothing is impossible. I don't think I would have ever been happy with my ex. It wouldn't have been good for me or my children. So now I am waiting to see what wonderful things God has planned for my life and that's why I am in school. If i graduate I will be the first in my family to have a bachelor's degree. Now that I am single I have the opportunity to focus on my education. I could never seem to do so married or in a relationship. I am setting an example for my children to follow. I am just so glad I finally see things differently than I used to. Be thankful for all the little blessings disguised as pain.
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